Today would have been my Dad’s birthday.
He would have turned 89 years of age except, he passed away during 2017.
I come from a large whanau (family) having four sisters, a brother and a half-brother. A functioning dysfunctional family whereby we have split to take sides with siblings whom are in tune with the values and characteristics we choose to live by.
It is what it is and no amount of time will bridge the water that has gone beneath it.
Sonny sadly, fueled the sparring and separation during his time above the ground. Which was a shame. And a pity. A pity that he didn’t rise up to the brainwashing he received from a sibling who wedged the gap between the clan.
With that, I was grateful to have shared some moments with him that have risen above the angst, hurt and pain we endured in the days, months and year after he closed his eyes for the last time.
Taking him on the back of a tandem to cycle from the east coast of the South Island (Sumner) to the west coast (Kumara) during his seventies, and just hear his positive reflection and see his ear to ear grin – that’s what I carry with me.
We have also carried a game of cards called ‘Five-Crowns’ (that both he and step-Mum Margaret introduced us to during that bike trip), with us, as we have ventured out onto the planet. Many a card game has been enjoyed with strangers to forge bonds of friendship that have been ever lasting. Our new tribe or, whanau (family).
And another dealing of the cards in Reefton too, where we have escaped to explore a location Sonny once resided in when he was younger, working in the coal mines. Before he met my Mum.
A peaceful meander on a couple of trails to reflect and remember Sonny on what would have been his birthday.
Still a candle burns for my old man.
You have made me a better father for you having been mine.